That's right. The title of this blog rhymes. I came up with that little gem tonight while talking with my mom. It was the latest in a trend of speaking weirdness. Some times I wonder about myself. The strangest things come out of my mouth. There is no think before talking function in me. Words just kind of pour out and some small part of me is wondering... hoping that they make some semblence of sense as they echo into the stratasphere.
My exciting news is that I made it home from an 11 day trip of torture. There were many parts of this trip that were good, many that were frustrating and most of it was just plain draining. I'm exhausted but unable to get my mind to slow down to where I can actually sleep. So many thoughts are running through my head, ranging from the champion yo-yoers my friend saw in the airport (all I'll say is if you're a champion yo-yoer, no offense, but you have too much time on your hands) to the talk I had with my mom tonight.
I guess I'm at a place in my life where Jesus is cementing things in me that are from Him. He's also really requiring of me and trying to get into places so that I can deal and let go of all the other crap on my radar screen. It's a painful but good thing. I'm trying to remind myself of that. I know I can get so wrapped up in my own distorted reality of what's going on around me that I forget I need to seek Him and ask Him what's really going on. Because if there's one thing I'm learning its that Jesus and who He is, the Father and who He is, the Holy Spirit and who He is... is reality.
The faithfulness of Jesus to me blows my mind. He has never let me down, has always been there guiding me where I need to go. Sometimes He has to use the 2x4 but He is also gentle and beautiful to me. The depth, the vastness of His love threatens to overwhelm me. The desire to know Him grows daily as I ask for the first commandment to be fulfilled in my life. The things that I struggle with I need to remember to look at in light of what the Father is doing and to not be afraid to deal.
I know I still don't know what I ought to know (thanks Apostle Paul!) but I do realize that there is a work going on in me right now and while its scary in its intensity, I'm thankful for it. I just hope to respond to Him, to give myself to Him with the same intensity propensity I give other things.
It's amazing what 11 days away, isolated from the familiar does for perspective.
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