Whatever Else Anything Is, It Ought to Begin By Being Personal

That, my friends, is a line out of the classic Nora Ephron movie "You've Got Mail" which I take any opportunity to watch again and again when I can.

As I was watching this movie I realized how much I truly loved it. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are - if you're honest - not the most attractive people on the planet. They have such a lovely air of normal about them it makes their story believable. Not hot and heavy like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" but so beautifully... normal. Like you could have friends like them and be able to watch their love story unfold.

Watching it again, I heard so many funny, beautiful, true one liners but this was one of the big ones that stuck out to me. (For those who don't know and probably don't care and for those who have seen the movie but can't remember where this line is from, I'm about to explain...) This line comes in after Kathleen's store has closed. She's sick and Joe Fox comes to visit her with a bouquet of dasies. Which are her favorite flower (she told him that at the beginning of the movie). She's irritated that he's shown up and is actually being nice. He worms his way into her apartment and she finally realizes he's not going to leave. So he makes her tea as she collapses on the couch (dress in her pajamas with an overcoat thrown on)... And as he hands her the cup of tea (after they both apologize to each other for how horrible they've been to the other) Joe looks at her and says "It wasn't... personal."

To which Kathleen scoffs,"What is that supposed to mean? I am so sick of that. All that means is that it wasn't personal to you. But it was personal to me. It's *personal* to a lot of people. And what's so wrong with being personal, anyway?"

Joe gets nervous and responds with, "Uh... nothing."

And then she sums it up with this beautiful line. "Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal."

For some reason, that line really reasonated with me. We live in a society that is free with so much superficial stuff. We ask people how they're doing, but do we really care how they're doing? We have friends and family around us but how much do those closest to us really know us. How personal are we with them?

Now, granted I'm not suggesting we get personal with everyone. But I know that I need to examine my own life and see who I am really being personal with. How is the Lord directing me? Do I have things to share with people but I'm holding back because I fear that I might be rejected if they don't agree with me? Do people have things to share with me, that the Lord might have for me from them and they're not sharing because of the same fear?

This world has become so impersonal. I could site many different ways it has but I should look in the mirror and see I've become impersonal along with it. I was talking with my boss today about several different things including marriage and singleness. I mentioned to him that there was a very important lesson I'd learned over the last five years. So many of us go into marriage or relationships looking for what we can get from people. We're always so concerned about what other people can do for us we miss out on how the Lord is calling us to do for others.

I've realized in the last 5 years that this is the wrong attitude. Phillipians 2 says "3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. 5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7 but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross."

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus... what powerful words! And what is the mind of Christ? He was consumed with the will of His Father for Him, which ultimately was the most heart wrenching, beautiful sacrifice of His blood and body for us. As the body of Jesus... as His followers, His disciples... where is this attitude in us? Why have we dumbed down His gospel in exchange for the riches of this world... for the comforts of the flesh instead of sacrificing the flesh for the revelation of Jesus in our spirit.

I know it's probably kind of weird that I started this out with a movie quote but I think it is so applicable. Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being person. And the 'being personal' should start with Him.

She is leaving home...

Ten points to anyone who knows the artist to the song above. :) (I don't know what points do but I give them to you freely.)

Anyway, this is going to be a setimental blog post. You see, something happened today that has never happened in the history of my immediate family. One of us is moving away. That might not seem monumental to many because usually kids move away out of high school to go to college or pursue a job or what not.

However, with the things that my family has gone through the last ten years, we've stuck together. If we weren't living in the same house, we were living in the same city. As a family, we've definitely had our fair share of ups and downs. There have been many bumps in the road as we've followed Jesus and what He's called us to do. But the amazing thing is that it hasn't torn our family apart. We've grown stronger through the trials we've had to face and I know that Jesus has blessed us with a closeness not many families share.

Nonetheless, there comes a time when one must break off and find their own way. And that's what my youngest sister is doing. She's moving to California today, to strike out on her own. While I am sad and it breaks my heart to see her leave, I am so very proud of her. It's time for her to go out and see what she's really made of. My baby sister needs the chance to be her own person outside of our city and all that's happened in the last ten years. I think deep down she needs to know if she can make it on her own.

I have nothing but the very deepest faith - not only in her - but in the Lord to take care of her and to guide her on this new adventure. And while I'm sad I won't see her sweet face a few times a week, I am so excited to see what this move does for her.

So if you think about it, pray for my sister Carly as she travels and sets up a new life in CA.

Thanks!

(Carly, me and my other sister Kalli)

Rich Mullins Amazingness

Found this in a comment over at http://stuffchristianslike.net/ and it is AWESOME!

The only thing worse than the joke you don't get is the explanation that is bound to follow: an explanation that, while it may help you see why you should have seen the humor that you so lamely missed, is little likely to make you laugh. It may provoke you to muster a sympathy snicker so as to avoid more of an already tedious and misdirected lecture. It may inspire a mild giggle of recognition, but it will hardly ever raise a real belly-laugh, which was the original desired effect.

And so, here I go -- me and a dozen thousand other people -- trying to explain a joke that we would do better to learn to better tell. I am setting out to explain again why Jesus is the only true hope for the world, why we should put faith in Him, and what all of that won't mean. I am collecting the information, selecting from what I hope will be usable as evidence, arranging my findings into arguments, framing it for presentation and recognizing that, while it may be fine as far as it goes, it doesn't go far enough.

But then I remember two things. The first thing I remember is how I once won an argument with a heathen friend of mine who -- after I had whacked away his last scrap of defense, after I had successfully cut off every possible escape route that he could use, after I backed him into an inescapable corner and hit him with a great inarguable truth -- blew me away by simply saying, "I do not want to be a Christian. I don't want your Jesus Christ." There was no argument left to be had or won. Faith is a matter of the will as much as it is of the intellect. I wanted to believe in Jesus. My friend wanted to believe in himself. In spite of how convincing my reason was, my reason was not compelling.

So the second thing I remember is this: I am a Christian because I have seen the love of God lived out in the people who know Him. The Word has become flesh and I have encountered God in the people who have manifested (in many "unreasonable" ways) His Presence; a presence that is more than convincing, it is a Presence that is compelling.

I am a Christian not because someone explained the nuts and bolts of Christianity to me, but because there were people who were willing to be the nuts and bolts, who through their explanation of it, held it together so that I could experience it and be compelled by it to obey. "If I be lifted up," Jesus said, "I will draw all men unto me."

So, here I offer what is possibly the worst thing that can be offered: an explanation of a joke. And, what makes this more inexcusable than the fact that this is that, is the added fact that this is an explanation of a joke you've already gotten. I offer it anyway. I offer it in the hope that it might somehow encourage you to live out your lives and, by your living, tell the joke that I, in my writing, so feebly attempt to explain. Love one another, forgive one another, work as unto God, let the peace of Christ reign in your hearts. Make it your ambition to lead quiet lives. Obey. Greet one another with a holy kiss. No one will argue with that.

-Rich Mullins

Ranting and Raving Ahead, Beware

From November 2007...

I am sitting in a hotel room in Charlotte, North Carolina trying not to be grossed out. Maybe I am just weird. Maybe I have commitment issues. Maybe I am (in some ways, not all) more male in my approach to emotions and romance. But seriously, I feel like I skipped Romance for Girls 101 and zoomed straight into "No! Really? - Sarcasm 101"... and somewhere along the way I apparently missed out on something important.

Many of my friends buy into this "White Knight" theory. That there is a man who will rescue them, be able to fulfill all emotional needs and rescue them from the loneliness of single life. He'll treat them like queens or princesses, enjoy every single thing that they do and they will live happily ever after in some sort of cottage with a white picket fence and a garden and 2.2 kids with a 2.2 car garage.

That sounds incredibly boring to me. I'd go so far as to say it's not only boring, it's unrealistic. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not known for my sympathy towards men. Having had bad experiences in the past I'm not the greatest man champion. But when women start to spill this absolute rubbish, I have to say, I am overwhelmed with a sense of pity for any man who is expected to live up to several of the above mentioned standards. It sounds like an awful lot of giving and putting up with crap and not much taking and experiencing the joy of reciprocated love.

I'm not sure if I've even digressed at this point but I'll continue.

I have come to an understanding as to the root of my issue with being single and being in the church. I'm sick of hearing about how there are no good men. I'm really sick of hearing about the "perfect man". And the chances of me snatching myself bald are high if I hear one more person tell me that their heart's desire is to get married.

I am not anti marriage. In fact, contrary to what people might think after reading this post, I too want to get married. However I do not let marriage dominate my every waking hour. My every breath. My every moment. Wanting to be married is a very valid desire. But there are so many things to experience while single and unattached. The ministry opportunites that God has in that period of life are amazing. Paul talks about it in Corinthians. I'm not even talking about a full time all to celebate life. Just living in the day that Jesus is giving you.

Even now, as I type I can feel my blood pressure rising and my soap box getting higher. I suppose, for me, it boils down to one thing on the whole marriage issue. It's where Jesus has brought me and its where I ask Him to keep me content until such a time as He sees fit to pair me off with some poor soul.

In the 25 years that I have been alive, Jesus has shown me HIs faithfulness to me. I've been through some crap and yet every time Father has shown me His trustworthiness and His unfailing love toward me and for me. It is not His track record that has suffered in terms of being true, it is mine. And I'm going to have the audacity to tell Him that I'm going to search relentlessly until I find a mate? I must be smoking crack. I have experienced the grace of God to me. And through that experience I have realized this: If there is something in my life that I think I need and I don't have - and I have gone to God with that request and it has not come - it must mean I do not need it for this time in my life. That includes all things - especially a man. And until that man comes along, I want to do the best job I can where Jesus has put me and be faithful in the only day He's promised me, which is this day.