Thoughts in process...

From November 2007...

This last week has been intense to say the least. Part of it has been a good intense, the other part has been emotionally intense and super draining. I've spent a lot of my alone time reflecting and musing about family, the call God has put on my life, and my reaction to it all.

There are so many things inside my head pertaining to it all. I've had so many ideas, views, & opinions thrown at me in the last few days. They have really challenged what I've held dear and how I've perceived much of my life. However one thing I've realized, in talking with Jesus, listening to Him and following Him is this:

He is so incredibly faithful to me. More than anything this past week has emphasised that the simplicity I walk in, the ministry I'm involved in is a gift. And what grace it is to be pulled outside yourself. To realize that the world is not about you. Because most people don't realize that.
I've also started to understand the gift that the Lord had given me in my family. I'm close to both my parents and I'm getting closer to my sisters and brother. But man, I watched part of my extended family over the last few days... I observed the tension, the bitterness, the underlying anger... none of it ever spoken. All of it kept hidden and glossed over as if nothing had ever happened. I became more and more thankful that, while we're not perfect, to the best of our ability- all of us in our family are honest with each other. There is that ability to be open and vulnerable with each other. To say, "Hey, this is where I'm at. This is what I'm dealing with. This is where I'm at."

I guess I'll be thinking about this trip for a while... and even though there were times on this trip where I was frustrated and irritated and felt like I was locked in the loony bin, I'm glad I went. If not for any other reason than to be thankful for what I have been given, the opportunities I have been presented with and the family I was placed in.